Ultima pe anul asta.

M-am hotarat sa scriu in dulcele grai romanesc, pentru ca pana la urma asa ma pot exprima si ma pot face inteles cel mai bine. Si-asa n-o sa-mi citeasca nici un strain blog-ul si daca se intampla totusi si are nelamuriri, ma poate contacta. Ma uit la celelalte entry-uri si mi se par ca fiind ale unui emo de 16 ani. Ciudat..parca nu tot eu le-am scris. Acum schimbam un pic placa.
Stateam pe ganduri.. da, in ultimul timp am o adevarata problema in a sta pe ganduri nejustificat ...
Am terminat liceul acum jumatate de an. Un liceu..poate ca oricare altul, nu sunt in masura sa-l caracterizez, poate pentru ca am fost undeva in categoria elevilor medii, nici prea buni, dar nici in zona "de jos". Un liceu in care era la moda sa chiulesti, sa bei (cel putin in a 9-a si a 10-a, cat a tinut acea "euforie"), sa te dai mare cu orice poti si sa-ti arati adevarata fata cat mai putin posibil. Am ales sa ignor astfel de "personalitati"... poate de-asta n-am ramas cu multe amintiri placute din liceu, si cu atat mai putini prieteni adevarati.
Dar apoi, M-A LOVIT facultatea in plin. Este pur si simplu incredibil..nu-mi vine sa cred. Cate schimbari, cate moduri de gandire diferite din partea unor persoane la fel de diferite. "Nu mai suntem copii" ni se sopteste in casca ori de cate ori apare ocazia... La scoala ne-au invatat tot felul de chestii mai mult sau mai putin interesante, mai mult sau mai putin utile, dar INTREBAREA mea este: cand/unde inveti cum sa iubesti? cand/unde te invata cum sa ai grija de cei din jurul tau, sa ai incredere in ei, sa ai tot timpul fruntea sus, sa treci peste necazuri, sa ii ajuti pe cei din jur dar mai ales sa ACCEPTI ajutorul altora? Am scris "m-a lovit" facultatea pentru ca m-au lovit toate intrebarile astea, simultan sau pe rand.
Inca mai vad copii in cei care nu acorda prea multa importanta facultatii, in sensul ca o iau mai lejer, ca sa zic asa. Apoi vad (viitori) oameni in toata firea pe cei care o trateaza cu maximum de seriozitate. Pentru cei care nu vor sa citeasca "oameni maturi", cititi "tocilari"..poate va incalzeste cu ceva...Apoi, undeva la mijloc, sunt eu. Cine sunt eu? O amestecatura dintre cele doua? De cand am inceput facultatea am descoperit multe lucruri noi, multe lucruri frumoase, dar mi s-a complicat viata exponential. De ce? pentru ca nimeni nu te invata sa iei viata in piept. Nimeni nu te invata niste chestii esentiale, de suflet. Si profesorii fac greva pentru ca vor salarii mai mari...

In incheiere, ca o concluzie pe anul 2007...sunt fericit si sunt trist in acelasi timp. Nimic nu s-a schimbat. Inca mai cred in povesti. Inca mai pot sa iubesc, inca mai sunt alaturi de cei tristi si rad alaturi de cei fericiti. Inca mai cunosc oameni deosebiti, inca mai invat... Viata de-abia de acum incepe...

The Dream

Disclaimer: The following paragraphs have nothing to do with reality. All characters and events presented are fictional and therefore should not be taken for granted.
I was walking down a street, in a rainy night. It was cold. The street was empty. Only I was minding my own business, walking in a fast pace towards an unknown destination.I had 2 buckets in my hands. I remember they were heavy. I looked down to see what they were containing and to my surprise, I discovered that one of them had hate in it and the other had superficiality. Wow, those were the exact same things that I hated most about this world. Now, what was I doing with them in a rainy night, walking down some empty streets? That I cannot answer.
Then You woke me up. You whispered in my ear: "Hey! It was all just a dream, relax." Suddenly, a pleasant warmth took control over my body, over my heart. Your voice made all that happen. Is that not love? Your voice always calms me down, gives me comfort when I'm in need, cheers me up when I'm sad or brings me back to reality when I'm over my feet. Is that not love?
A couple of days ago I saw a movie called "Enchanted". It reminded me that I still believe in fairy tales. I believe that we are supposed to live happily ever after, in a world where money are of no importance...where there are no wars, where people live in peace with each other...with their true soul-mates. But that is a dream world, right? There will always be hate, superficiality, "interests" to protect, innocent people to suffer, weak people to exploit and so on and so forth. It makes me sick just to think about it... Maybe a "fairy tale lovers club" should be formed..a society where people would meet, spend some quality time together and live happily together. Yes, that would probably be an ideal society, a society which might attract the envy of all other people, maybe like that robot city from the Animatrix, a prosperous city with no conflicts and a growing economy. Wouldn't that be interesting?
I'm dreaming. There are no such things as princesses and castles and dungeons and dragons. Or you can't see them that easily. You have to look deeper, you have to look closely, otherwise the surface will not betray what lies within each of us...each character, each mind, each heart.

Volcano

Once upon a time there was a volcano. But this volcano wouldn't erupt lava, no, he would erupt tears. Tears of sadness, tears of joy, it didn't matter. Our volcano was sad because he had no tears for a long time now. So what could he do? All the other volcanoes thought he was ok, but inside, he wasn't. He wanted to cry, but he couldn't. Nobody would listen to him, nobody would pay attention, anyone who would listen to him, would start laughing. What a pity...

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ding. The legend has no conclusion, the problem has no answer, yet....

BLANK

You take a blank sheet of paper and you draw a jar. A simple, empty, jar. But this is no ordinary jar, oh no. You put in it all my dreams, all my nightmares, my hopes and my thoughts. You shake it well, because you need them to mix. You don't want them separately.
Suddenly the blizzard starts. Everything becomes white. The jar gets covered in cocaine. Why cocaine? Why not snow? Because drugs make you happy for a moment...they make you fly. Hell, I wouldn't know. I never tried and never will try them. Cocaine takes the nightmares away, leaving only good dreams to stay in the jar. I am happy. But no, you don't want my nightmares to disappear. You want a mixture, remember? Silly me, should've known better.
insensitiveness fights sentimentalism.

"Saint Nick"

What a name...this has got to be one of the stupidest names I could come up with..and yet, I am in such a ..."not care" mood that, you can guess, like it or not, it's fine by me. It's snowing outside. Been snowing for about 20 hours now. I can't say it's not nice or anything... the white that fills your view is really...interesting :)
I went to do some shopping earlier today. On my way, a couple of kids around the block, playing with snowballs. By my guess, they were 6th or 7th graders. Having fun. Throwing snowballs at people, no matter the age or gender.. I looked at them with hate, because they were having fun, and I wasn't , with them. I'm glad I'm a tempered person and I didn't start yelling at them or something, like other people might have, or even worse, go there and start making a scene... although that was my first impulse... What do they think, that just because they live in a bad neighborhood they won't get in trouble with other people? Do they also believe in that "gangsta' " thing that's been going on in the last months...oh yeah, a real fad..."we're gangstas cuz we live in a baaaad neighborhood and we gonna bust a cap in your a**" How intelligent. The young kids, I don't blame them. They're young. They absorb anything and everything they can from the television..good or bad, it doesn't matter to them. To them, it's cool.
Another subject. These days I'm gonna get a sweater from PallMall. Yeah, the irony. I've stopped smoking and now I get a sweater that basically encourages people to smoke... How can you give a prize to someone that's killing himself over time? I think I've opened my eyes... But I'm gonna go and I'm gonna get that sweater. And I'm not gonna burn it or anything, no. Actually, I'm gonna keep it, to remind me of the society these days.. where alcohol and tobacco rule the market...Fortunately you can't find any more commercials about them on the streets, but that won't prevent a 6th grader to start smoking if he's curious.. it's just sick..
For the past 2 or 3 years my winter holidays have been just... I'd rather not talk about it. This year I thought things would be different. Maybe they'll be, maybe they won't. Time will tell...
You may be wondering..why am I writing this? Who am I to judge people? Who am I to judge the society? I'm just a nobody, listening to some Deftones in a bad after-noon. Am I sad? No. I'm just bored. And when I get bored, I get inspirational and I start writing stuff... intelligent or otherwise, it's up to you to decide.
Peace!

Return to nature...(first attempt of trying to quit smoking)

Today I quit smoking. It sucks...smoking I mean, not quitting it...But I couldn't have done it without her...Most of it, I owe it to her...so, if you're reading this, thanx! Today is Romania's National Day...and boy was it exciting..home alone, trying to keep my mind busy with anything else but tobacco... real fun :| but enough about that.
I was gonna talk about something more important than cigarettes ... and I forgot what was it about....
Today I saw "The Constant Gardener". Another great movie that involves love up to a certain point. Then it involves tragedy. But that's not the point.. You see, I was just wondering: How good can you know someone? How much trust can you have in someone? Without taking risks, one can never know.. I'm asking myself these questions because a similar situation was represented in the film..but I'm not gonna spoil it up :P
Should you ask what's the picture got to do with everything, well, I said that if everyone tries to convince me of starting to smoke again, I'd use those weapons..and yeah, that's me :D